Skipping small talks in big cities
The Game of Stories by Esther Perel has brought into my life a totally new way of networking/engaging with people and especially having more meaningful conversations. As many of the expats, I tend to enjoy the abundance of opportunities in big cities to meet like-minded people, who would share the same passion of getting out of the comfort zone and exploring “what is there outside waiting for me”.
Getting to Meaningful Conversations
First time I played the cards with my sister, and I believed at the beginning that it was meant to be for friends and family only. To my great surprise it also worked out, when I organised events with complete strangers. For over 1 year I invite twice a month up to 10 people to a cosy setup at one of the M One Hotels in Berlin for 3 hours of conversations.
Friendliness, politeness, tactfulness – these are of course all criteria for participation that allow people to be open and relaxed. I added and extracted some rules over the time and wanted to share the most important insights I got from this 1 year journey:
1) I have been practicing the habit of not JUDGING BY COVER. I have set a rule of skipping questions like “Where do you come from?”, “What brings you to Berlin?” or “How much is your rent?”. We introduce the names, I share the rules and ask participants to pull cards and reveal all that matters about themselves by answering them. It works wonderful, as I am so present and have such a curious mindset to discover and remeber the person not by status first, but by their story.
2) Skipping the SMALL TALK is the consequence of the 1st rule. When you network in a big city, you end up repeating the same story about yourself over and over again. And that is annoying.
3) FRIENDSHIPS in big cities. Many participants would also admit, that you experience superficial connections. The ugly truth about it is that even people complain about it, many of them would commit the same crime of not investing into beautiful friendships. And the reason is the second ugly truth about friendships in a big city – people want to see first great stuff if, not yourself… Many are seduced by museums? exhibitions? concerts? drugs? kidding … So you match with those who like same things, but it is a rare case if you’d be living in a country side (I want to believe so).
So my 2023 year insight and a very simple truth is that when you want to have a good friend, be that one.
To conclude, it has been a great journey and recommend everyone to get to know people through stories, play games like this. 🤗 This post has been absolutely ad-free, I adore Esther Perel and her talks and books, so it deserved to be shared.
I am also on the way of exploring new cards, especially metaphoric ones to play, so ideas and recommendations in the post comments are welcome.
IF YOU ARE IN BERLIN, CHECK FOR THE UPCOMING EVENT DATES ON MEETUP.
Source: Originally posted on LinkedIn